 Circle City Wiffle is back on the national stage this weekend as five of its top players make the trip to York, Pennsylvania, to compete in the United Wiffle®Ball World Championship Tournament. The Skullcrushers have already cemented their place in Wiffle history with three NWLA Tournament championships (back to back, 3 in 4 years), and now they turn their focus to a different crown: a United Wiffle Championship.
A Team Built for October The roster includes some of the biggest names in Circle City: Myc Witty and Brendan Dudas from the Short Shorts, Will Smithey of the Moonshots, Dylan Jones of the Hounds, and Reid Werner from the 8 Balls. Together, they’ll represent Circle City Wiffle against a stacked field of 40 elite squads, with players flying in from across the country and even Japan. A History of Close Calls Despite their NWLA dominance with the yellow bat, the Skullcrushers have yet to break through at UWiff. The results tell the story: • 2024: 9th place • 2023: 11th place • 2022: 5th place • 2021: 41st place (😬) Each year, they’ve clawed closer to the top, but the elusive UWiff title has remained just out of reach. For a group so accustomed to tournament success, York has become the white whale. What’s at Stake UWiff has grown into the sport’s crown jewel since its founding in 2020. Hosted at WellSpan Park, home of the York Revolution, the event attracts over 200 players from 25+ states. With the inclusion of Japan’s Saitama Wiffle Tigers and partnerships with MLW’s 17U National Championship, UWiff has elevated itself from national bragging rights to true world championship status. For the Skullcrushers, this isn’t just another road trip. It’s a chance to prove that their NWLA success can translate onto the game’s biggest fast-pitch stage. The Outlook The bats are live, the arms are ready, and the Skullcrushers know the window is open. With their experience, depth, and recent success, the pieces are there for a deep run. The question now: Can the Skullcrushers finally conquer UWiff? They open up tourney play this morning at 8 AM EST. Games will be live streamed on the CCW Twitch channel!
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INDIANAPOLIS -- The Circle City Wiffle 2025 All-Star Game is set to bring the heat — and a little flair — on Saturday, September 13 at 6 PM. This year’s league showcase will feature nine innings split between fast pitch and slow pitch, giving fans the full spectrum of what makes CCW special. Adding to the drama, the league’s top two candidates, Reid Werner and Myc Witty, will serve as captains, drafting their teams live at the field before first pitch. And if that wasn’t enough, the night will also double as an awards ceremony, where the 2025 season’s MVP, Mike Speek Pitcher of the Year, Rookie of the Year, Yellow Slugger and more will be revealed. This is the biggest stage CCW has to offer. Let’s meet the All-Stars who earned their place under the lights.  The Captains Reid Werner - Werner was the definition of dependable dominance. Over 44 innings, he baffled hitters with a sharp 1.50 ERA, while piling up 112 strikeouts, second-most in the league. His stingy 0.68 WHIP proved just how tough he was to square up. And Werner wasn’t just a pitcher — his bat cracked the league’s top 10 as well. That balance made him a natural captain and one of the premier two-way players in Circle City. Myc Witty - If Werner was the steady hand, Witty was the hammer. No pitcher in the league struck more fear into opponents. He led CCW in strikeouts (116), ERA (0.41), and WHIP (0.41), earning the top composite pitching rank. Witty’s ability to completely overwhelm hitters made him a nightmare every time he took the mound. Even if his bat lagged behind his arm, his sheer dominance as a pitcher earned him the captaincy. The All-Stars Brayden Scott - Every season has a pitcher who makes hitters wonder if the mound is even fair. This year, that was Scott. His 0.22 ERA was the lowest in the league, and he allowed fewer than a baserunner per inning. With 54 strikeouts in 27.2 innings, Scott carved through lineups and gave his team a chance to win every time out. Brendan Dudas - No bat in the league loomed larger than Dudas’. He posted the top hitting composite score in CCW, making him the most dangerous offensive player in the league. Whether it was driving balls to the gap or grinding through at-bats, Dudas carried his lineup week after week. His dominance at the plate alone secured him a spot among the All-Stars. Alex Gurtcheff - Gurtcheff’s season was all about versatility. Offensively, he ranked among the top three hitters in the league, showing the ability to deliver in key situations. On the mound, he wasn’t as sharp, but his willingness to take innings and keep his team afloat mattered. His bat was the star of his profile, and his two-way value made him an easy All-Star selection. Aidan Palmer - Palmer quietly pieced together one of the most balanced campaigns in CCW. On the hill, he logged 30.1 innings with a 2.57 ERA and 62 strikeouts, proving to be one of the most reliable arms in the league. At the plate, he held a spot inside the top 15 hitters, making him one of the rare players who could hurt opponents from both sides. Dustin Dowden - Dowden brought fire every time he stepped onto the field. He worked 26.1 innings with a 1.59 ERA and 56 strikeouts, numbers that ranked him among the league’s best pitchers. Though his offense was streaky, his competitive edge and ability to flip games with one swing or one pitch made him a fan favorite and a feared opponent. Cody House - House made his All-Star case with his bat. Ranking just outside the top 10 hitters, he provided steady production and timely swings all season. Even without a big presence on the mound, his offense gave his team the edge they needed in close games. Thomas Hopkins - Hopkins made his mark as a reliable hitter, finishing inside the league’s top 10 at the plate. His ability to extend innings and deliver in tough spots gave his team a dependable spark. Hopkins’ consistency carried weight in a league where every at-bat matters. Mitch Buis - Buis’ season was a mix of grit and power. On the mound, he struck out 44 hitters in 18.2 innings, showcasing one of the better strikeout rates in the league. While his 4.18 ERA showed he battled, his competitive fire and knack for finding big outs made him invaluable to his club. Holden Palmer - Holden wasn’t afraid of a challenge. He threw 18.1 innings, striking out 41 along the way, and showed flashes of dominance with a strong strikeout rate. Though his ERA sat higher than he’d like, his willingness to take tough assignments and keep his team in the fight earned him respect across the league. Dalton Lewis - Lewis brought balance to the roster. He logged 12.1 innings with 18 strikeouts and chipped in offensively with a mid-tier hitting rank. He may not have had the flashiest numbers, but his steady contributions and two-way value gave him the nod as an All-Star. Join us to celebrate the 2025 Circle City Wiffle season! Fans can expect drama in the live draft, highlight-reel plays during the nine-inning showcase, and plenty of suspense as the season’s biggest awards are handed out.
 🏆 CCW 2025 Award Races: Breaking Down the Nominees
The 2025 CCW Fast Pitch season delivered another year of incredible performances, capped off by the Short Shorts winning the championship in a thrilling three-game series over the 8 Balls. But as the dust settles, it’s time for the league’s players to cast their votes in the CCW Awards, recognizing the top individual performances across the season. With a ranked-choice voting system (3 points for first, 2 for second, 1 for third), every ballot will matter in what promises to be some razor-thin races. Here’s a look at the award categories, the nominees, and what sets them apart. -- 🌟 Most Valuable Player (MVP) Awarded to the league’s best all-around player, factoring in both pitching dominance and offensive impact.
-- 🔥 Mike Speek Pitcher of the Year Award (Best Pitcher) Dominance on the mound is the only thing that matters here, and 2025 was loaded with aces.
-- 💣 Yellow Slugger (Best Hitter) The most feared bats in CCW, judged by raw offensive dominance.
-- 🧢 Cody House Manager of the Year Award Recognizing leadership, roster management, and success.
-- 🧤 Golden Hands (Best Fielder) Highlighting the defensive wizards who saved runs in the field.
-- 🚀 Most Improved Player From role players to breakout stars, this award honors year-to-year growth.
-- 🌟 Rookie of the Year The newcomers who made an instant impact in their first CCW season.
-- 📝 Final Thoughts The 2025 CCW season was defined by parity, breakout performances, and the Short Shorts’ championship run. Now, the attention turns to the awards ballots, where players will decide who stood out the most. With multiple categories coming down to a handful of votes in last year’s vote, this year’s awards ceremony promises to be just as dramatic as the action on the field.  8 Balls (10-9) vs Shorts (12-5) Truly fitting that the teams that have played each other FOUR times in the last three weeks get to play each other at least two more times. Predicting this series is about as easy as predicting the weather, as every single game has been insanely close. Somehow, the Shorts managed to win every single game, twice via a walk-off (down 5 in the final inning of both those games), once down 3 in the final inning, and once by only 1 run, which was scored in the very first inning of the game. The Shorts are riding a hot streak, winning 7 games in a row and 9 of their last 10. However, they say beating a team three times is hard - the Shorts have managed to beat the 8 Balls four times already - so what do they say about six times? The table is set for absolute chaos at the Dirtyard Classic, and I’m (Laugel) here to overanalyze every bit of it. Hitting The two best offenses in the league couldn’t possibly be more different. The 8 Balls lead the League in slugging, HR, OPS, and striking out. A true all-or-nothing offense with Swamp Donkey Master Gurtch leading the league with 17 dingers, Cody House 4th with 10, and Werner with 7. The Shorts get it done in an incredibly different way. Leading the league in Hits, Average, Walks, and Fewest Strikeouts. Outside of Dudas, the Shorts have absolutely no business swinging for the fences, even on a slow pitch. The Shorts put pressure on you all game, and the 8 Balls offense scores a lot of runs fast. Advantage: 8-Balls (1-0) Pitching Reid Werner has been lights out all year to the tune of a 1.45 ERA and 84 strikeouts in only 33 innings, but after Reid, it's been some ups and downs for the 8 Balls. Alex Gurtcheff has been the #2 most of the year, tossing 18.1 innings and has had some brilliant innings, but has had some not-so-brilliant outings as well, giving him a 10.15 ERA thus far. Jay Wilsey has had limited chances (6ip) but has had good success in those limited innings in the #3/#4 duty along with Alec Berninger. The Shorts have some guy named Myc Witty. Is he good, you ask? Well, he gave up 1 run all year (slow-pitch dinger to Will Smithey). He struck out 85 batters in 32 innings pitched, and led the League in ERA and muscles, so yeah, he’s decent. The last time the 8 Balls saw Witty, he struck out all 15 batters in a perfect game, so there is nowhere to go but up. I (Laugel) feel like I’ve given the Shorts a solid 23.2 innings in the #2 hole so far this year (Despite what Dudas says) and really have only had issues against 1 team. Oh yeah, that team is the 8 Balls. The 8 Balls are solely responsible for DOUBLING my ERA (5.83). I have excuses, but none worth mentioning. Luckily, there’s this dude named Connor Young on my team, who has done a great job bailing me out when needed. Connor has pitched out of the #3 spot and been a good reliever, delivering a 5.84 ERA across 12.1 innings. All in all, I think Witty alone gives the Shorts the pitching advantage regardless of Laugel’s recent struggles against the 8 balls. Advantage: Shorts (1-1) Fielding The 8-Balls are by no means a bad fielding team, but the Shorts' fielding is full of speed, hands, and at least one mouth. Dudas, Witty, Unversaw, and Young are all great fielders that any team would take in a heartbeat. Then there’s me, who spends more time on the ground than anyone else in the league, usually bailing out a horrible feed from Dudas, off a horribly thrown pitch by me. In Dudas’s defense, he makes the plays absolutely nobody else has a shot at, and the one time we didn’t have the cameras rolling, he made an amazing over-the-fence catch to rob a home run. Advantage: Shorts (2-1) Experience This one is tough. If you’re looking at just this year, the Shorts have 4 CCW NWLA players to the 8 Balls' 2. If you’re looking for league veterans, the 8 Balls team is full of them, while half the Shorts' team seems to be made up of rookies or sophomores. Reid’s walk-off home run at NWLA was incredible, as was Dudas's hitting the go-ahead bomb in what seemed like every other game. Witty may have 107 in the tank; we just haven’t officially recorded it. Gurtch hit the first-ever swamp donkey shell at NWLA (IYKYK). This is about as even as they come, but Witty does have a few championships to his name. Advantage: Shorts (3-1) Facial Hair I know what everyone’s thinking - of course, a category that outright favors Laugel and his top 3 mustache (Shoutout to Bundy and Buis). Look at the rest of the Shorts, though - absolutely embarrassing. Dudas, Witty, and Connor Young grow nothing of any significance. Unversaw has potential and don’t get me started on 12-year-old Byron Young - come on man, I started shaving when I was 12. Meanwhile, the 8 Balls are supporting the beard case, or at least trying to. Gurtch, Werner, Jay, Berny - all guys throwing around some form of masculinity. Hate to say it, but there’s an obvious winner here… Advantage: 8-Balls (2-3) Sobriety It’s probably a good thing, but the Shorts are a lonely team for a Lush like Laugel to be on. Outside of maybe 1 or 2 with Witty this year, I must do all the drinking to keep our street cred up. I can’t 100% speak for the 8Balls, but I know Berny's going to put a few down, and House and Gurtch seem like guys who are down. Reid isn’t against drinking, but doesn’t seem to partake. Wait, was this category supposed to be a good or bad thing? I can’t remember, too many beers. Maybe next year, when Byron is of legal drinking age, he can supply some bonding over adult beverages. Congrats on Dudas' extreme commitment to staying OFF the wagon, that’s tough and I think you alone may cancel me out. In the end, I think the Shorts may be more sober overall…wait no, no, who am I kidding, I’m not a problem, but I may have a problem… Advantage: 8-Balls (3-3) Steroids I’ve been informed that it is not in the future budget to begin testing for such things, but I think we have a 1990s MLB situation forming on our hands. I know what you're thinking - Witty is literally double the size this year. But no, look at his head - unsuspiciously the same exact size when he weighed 145 lbs. The elephant head in the room here is obviously the commissioner himself, Brendan Dudas. He claims it’s all this boulder digging and moving giving him a bigger head (figuratively for sure) and bigger arms, but I don’t think it's all natural - just look at the stats. First 8 games of the season, 4 home runs, respectable, sure, but everyone was talking about Gurtch’s Donkeys. Next thing you know, Dudas has 9 dingers in the last 7 games. Not to mention Dudas’s recent anger issues on the field, picking fights with refs, bookkeepers, and sideline reporters; a true sign of roid rage. Gurtch may have been the first to do it, though. Come on, a guy who hit 7 dingers last year all a sudden nearly doubles it? This is a real Bonds jealous of McGwire dynamic. Barry, the only guy whose head is confirmed bigger than Dudas’s (for now), and McGwire, who was always just a bigger dude who could mash, but now he’s really mashing (Gurtch). Then we look at Cody House, talk about a guy who has gotten swole, and has really swollen my ERA; 10 dingers this year to last year's 4? Please, Sosa, don’t make it so obvious. Then there’s Alec Berninger, who claims to have been hitting the gym and not the Androstenedione. John Mitchell genuinely is just huge, and Reid seems like the guy who would do it clean, but his arm seems to be a lot better suddenly for a guy who was complaining about it a lot this year. The only clean guy on that team may be Jay, but who’s to say he’s not the distributor? Sure, Connor Young has a six-pack, but he’s 20 years old and swims, not dives (contact Connor for the difference). Are the Shorts clean? Hell no, but whew the 8-Balls are diiiiirrrrrttttyyyyy. The fact that the commissioner refuses to do testing isn’t a good look for CCW at all, but in the meantime, we will continue to reap the rewards as our popularity continues to skyrocket in the new CCW steroid era. Advantage: 8-Balls (4-3) Diversity Are we really going down this road? Yes, but probably not in the way you’d expect. Look at the 8 Balls - House, Werner, Mitchell, Gurtch - this team's full of dudes who get sunburnt getting the mail. Maybe it’s the black jerseys, but also maybe it’s those white faces. In any case, I think the Shorts are the clear winners of the tanning contest. Witty and Unversaw are looking good, Dudas has spent an entire summer making love to a rock in the sun, and you know Connor Young's working on that swim tan. My shoulders currently resemble a lobster, but I assure you, they will be a nice scaly brown come the championship. Advantage: Shorts (4-4) In a Benches Clearing Incident Between Dudas’s roid rage, my ability to hit batters, and Reid’s face, there’s a good chance of a scuffle of sorts during this series. I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was; but I was never good enough to deal with a guy the size of John Mitchell. That dude's going to be a problem. Going to go for the legs and hope for the best. Dudas strikes me as the spider monkey type, and maybe he can assist after he beats Reid's ass for all the trash talking he was doing (but in reality, this was manifested by Dudas' mind only). Witty will stand to the side, carefully picking his target before delivering a 106-mph punch to the unlucky contestant’s face (poor Jay). Connor Young is a stout little dude, but House is a brick house, an absolute UNIT of a man. Sure, Connor has a 6-pack, but House has an 18-pack, and those shoulders are big, son! Hope Gurtch packed his lunch, because he’s in for a long day with Unversaw standing in his way. Berny and Keegan are going to go toe to toe for about 45 seconds until Keegan's lower back/hip/uvula gives out. That, of course, leaves Mike Speek Sr. and Byron Young. The oldest dude in the league fighting a 12-year-old. A lose-lose situation for either guy if you ask me, and both too nice and too mature to engage in such a brouhaha. This fight is a literal tie through the first round, but with Witty, Dudas, and Mitch still standing and me still drinking, all bets are off. Advantage: Shorts (5-4) There you have it, the Shorts have the advantage, but will it be enough for the first Championship since 2021? Or will the 8 Balls overcome the odds for their first title since 2019? One thing's for sure, the 7 good fingers I used to type all of this are exhausted, but not nearly as exhausted as I’ll be Sunday evening. First game of the 2025 Dirtyard Classic starts at 11 am! 6:30 - #5 Moonshots vs. #4 Hounds
Expected Starters: Moonshots: Will Smithey (1.00 ERA, 55 Ks, 75 FIP) Hounds: Austin Alles (2.40 ERA, 36 Ks, 48 FIP) Preview: The Hounds and Moonshots have seen a lot of each other recently - playing all 3 games against one another in the last 2 weeks of play - and they’ll see even more of each other in the Wild Card round. The teams boast similar, potent offenses - with elite threats leading them (Smithey & Jones) and nearly equally as dangerous right-hand men behind them (Hopkins and Alles). All 4 of those guys finished the regular season in the top 6 of offensive value, and with the exception of Hopkins, who got the bulk of his production in the early stages of the season, they are all getting hot at the right time. Coby Taylor - who just turned in a 4 home run game last week - and Josh Hart - who is a dangerous power hitter on slow pitch - are expected to round out the Hounds’ playoff lineup. T-Greg will also hit for the Moonshots, and then they’ll have an interesting decision to make regarding the 4th hole, as both Connor Smith and Nolan Karwoski are valid options. These two pitchers faced off just last week, with Smithey narrowly out-deuling Alles in that contest. Smithey has, once again, put together a pitching season better than anyone not named Myc Witty, and is a guy that seemingly plays even better when the stakes get higher. That said, he is not unhittable, having been tagged for at least one run twice and two runs once in his 5 outings this season. Alles has taken another step forward on the bump this year, holding opponents to 3 runs or fewer in each of his outings. If he can be on the board consistently and keep the Moonshots away from slow pitch opportunities, Alles has the ability to match Smithey on the mound. X-Factors: Moonshots: Tyler Gregory T-Greg, in what is reportedly his final year in a long and storied CCW career, has unfortunately had a somewhat forgettable season at the plate. He’s tied for 16th in offensive value - nothing to sneeze at, but pedestrian for a guy we’re used to seeing in the top 10 - with a .268 batting average and 4 homers. But all of that potential disappointment could be erased with a strong postseason showing. He’s no stranger to the big moment as a staple on championship Moonshot teams, and when Smithey is inevitably intentionally walked in an important moment, T-Greg seems to go Super Saiyan in those moments. I’m putting money on a big game from Gregory. Hounds: Austin Alles Alles is one of two guys in the top 15 offensive players this season to have only played 11 games, which speaks to the quality of his performance, even if the volume is limited. Further, he may be swinging the hottest bat in the league, coming off a Hitter of the Week award in which he went 8/11 with 5 home runs across their two games. He’s also the current holder of the “Most Likely to Actually Run Through the Dirtyard Outfield Wall to Make a Play” distinction. Combine these, and the potential for a winning game on the mound, and we’re on “The Austin Alles Game” watch. The Verdict: This game has all the makings of a hard fought, low scoring affair. I expect the Moonshots’ bats to get theirs against Alles and put up a few runs, like they did last time. It’s hard to bet against Smithey on the mound, but he’ll be facing this same red-hot offense for the second time this week, making his assignment more challenging (but you could say the same thing for Alles). The big question is who wins out in a strength-vs-strength matchup between Smithey’s arm and the Hounds’ bats? If Alles, DJ, and Coby can do enough damage, this could be anyone’s game. 8:00 - #6 Yakkers vs. #3 8 Balls Expected Starters: Yakkers: Dustin Dowden (0.81 ERA, 50 Ks, 68 FIP) 8 Balls: Reid Werner (1.67 ERA, 46 Ks, 58 FIP) Preview: Despite the divergent roads these teams took to get here, the 8 Balls and Yakkers are actually pretty similarly constructed. Both offenses are power-dependent, slow-pitch mashers who have the downside of getting shut down if the balls aren’t leaving the yard. Both pitching staffs are led by a shut-down ace, but struggle to compete with the depth behind them. Those aces will surely get the ball tonight, with Werner throwing for the 8 Balls after a long rest between starts, and Dowden going for the Yaks. Dowden has too quietly put up an elite season on the mound - his ERA and total pitching value are third in the league, each. He’s on the board as much as anyone, and mixes in and locates a handful of different pitches, making him an extremely frustrating assignment for batters. Reid only threw 4 games this season - one fewer than any other ace - but still finished in the top 5 in Ks and just outside the top 5 in total value. The Yakkers' offense this season has been disappointing on the whole, but has shown an ability to deliver the big hit when it’s needed. Rudy Lyon leads the offense, with his 8 home runs falling one shy of the top 5 in the league. Behind him, Dalton Lewis has had a breakout campaign with the bat, collecting at least one hit in all but two of his 13 games. Dowden, who already has one home run against Reid this year, will slot in as well, and Justin Swingler, if playoff eligible, will round out the lineup. For the 8 Balls, Werner’s return to the lineup will be a much-needed wrinkle to the otherwise homer-or-bust nature of the team. Alex Gurtcheff is having a career year at the plate, leading the league in home runs and finishing 3rd in total offensive value. Cody House is hot entering the playoffs, going 7-10 with 3 home runs last week. And Jay Wilsey has been dependable all year, with a well-rounded approach and willingness to create some chaos on the basepaths. X-Factors: Yakkers: Dalton Lewis It feels like every week DLewy has come up big in a clutch spot, and in a game that looks likely to be a low-scoring one, the Yaks may need him to do so again to pull out a win. Lewis has become a weapon in slow-pitch opportunities and is holding his own more and more in fast-pitch. Whether in regulation or a potential jack-off tie breaker, don’t be surprised if the game hinges on a DLewy at-bat. 8 Balls: Reid Werner It sounds weird to call the 8 Balls’ manager and ace the wild card, but after missing the last two weeks of games, Werner’s re-introduction to the team could change things dramatically for them. Will his month off from throwing in league play result in a fresh, rested arm? Or will it create some rust that needs to be shaken off? The bulk of the damage against Reid has always come off slow-pitch, so his ability to lock in on the zone, especially on a team that feasts on lob balls, is crucial to their success. His insertion into the top of a lineup desperately in need of speed and bat-to-ball skill may be a game-changer for the offense, as well. The Verdict: I don’t think it’s too bold a prediction to say whichever team does more damage on slow-pitch will win this game. Both pitchers are extremely hard to string hits together against, and it’ll likely be one or two big hits that decide this. With the jack-off out of play in the playoffs, this one will continue until a team jumps ahead. Last year, Werner threw a 12-inning shutout in the Wild Card round, and viewers may need to buckle up for another marathon game. It’s the final week of the regular season and nothing is certain.  Stampede (6-7, T-3rd) vs Yaks (6-7, T-3rd) Probable Starters Aidan Palmer (STD) Holden Palmer (STD) Rudy Lyon (YAK) Dalton Lewis (YAK) Despite their absolutely suffocating pitching, the Stampede have some HARD losses as of late. The casual fan may think the Stampede are sinking, but I'm not buying it. Pitching is still going to keep them in games; the offense just needs to return to the force it was earlier this year. A Dowdenless Yaks may be the time for the Pede to right the ship offensively. This isn’t throwing shade at Rudy or Dlewy, depending on how Holden feels (Rumors of injury?!) One of them could easily grind into a win. Consider yourself lucky to get 1 off Aidan, 2 off a healthy Holden; This is the week the Stampede come back to life.... Prediction: Stampede Sweep Doubleheader  Moonshots (6-7, T-3rd) vs Hounds (6-7, T-3rd) Probable Starters Jake Sprinkle (HWC) Austin Alles (HWC) Will Smithey (MID) Nolan Karwoski (MID) Sprinkle was ruthless in his debut last week, but can he duplicate it against the moonshots? I would assume these teams would choose to throw off each other (Sprinkle vs Nolan instead of Smithey) but I have received no such confirmation. A battle of the S’s would be a high chance for a jackoff. Those have been anybody's games this year. Alles hasn’t thrown for a while so there may be some rust there, but if not, expect dominance. Nolan had a gutsy outing against the shorts in his first ever pitching performance last week. A 4-run first inning followed by 0s is very promising. Regardless of the exact pitching matchups, the offenses of these teams have been similar which should point to close, worth-watching games. Prediction: Split Doubleheader  Shorts (8-5, 1st) vs 8 Balls (7-6, 2nd)
Probable Starters Dustin Laugel (SS) Connor Young (SS) Alex Gurtcheff (I8B) John Mitchell (I8B) The Shorts offense is a unique one, leading the league in hits, but last in home runs. The Shorts put the pressure on you (and themselves) with a lot of traffic on the basepaths, and it’s been getting the job done with Witty and Laugel on the mound. 8-Balls will turn to swamp donkey master Gurtch for a quality start on the mound. Gurtch has battled consistency on the mound this year but has had flashes of brilliance. Big John Mitchell threw wild but hard in his only start this year; expect a better outing in career start #2. The Shorts burnt all those Witty innings already, so the 8 Balls can breathe a little easier. However, Laugel’s been hot on the mound (colder than his own Busch Light at the plate). Connor Young continues to look better with each inning pitched. If he can limit the walks and keep Gurtch’s bat at bay, the shorts have a chance to sweep this week. Prediction: Split Doubleheader With just two games left on the docket for each team, and the standings TIGHT (2 games separate first and last place, and there's a 4-way tie for 3rd), it feels like high school pre-calculus trying to figure out how the standings can shake out. But, we'd hate for you to expend your precious mental energy on something like that, so we're here to help. Here are the scenarios for each team going into the final set of games, whether they sweep, split, or are swept.
-- SHORT SHORTS (8–5) Plays: 8 Balls (7–6)
8 BALLS (7–6) Plays: Short Shorts (8–5)
HOUNDS (6–7) Plays: Moonshots (6–7)
✅ BOTTOM LINE: The Hounds are unlikely to finish in the top 2 and get a bye, but can secure a more desirable seed with a strong final week. MOONSHOTS (6–7) Plays: Hounds (6–7)
✅ BOTTOM LINE: It’ll take a series sweep for the Moonshots to reach a comfortable position, otherwise their losing records against other nearby teams may push them down. STAMPEDE (6–7) Plays: Yakkers (6–7)
YAKKERS (6–7) Plays: Stampede (6–7)
-- 🔑 SCENARIO TAKEAWAYS
 With the aces' innings out of the way, things are bound to get interesting in week 7. Yaks (5-6, 5th) vs 8 Balls (6-5, T-2nd) Probable Starters Dalton Lewis (YAK) Jay Wilsey (I8B) Jay looked good during his limited pitching this year, but Lewis has thrown more often and more recently, perhaps leveling the field. The Yaks and 8Balls have nearly identical offenses and this matchup is hard to predict. I feel like the 8 Balls have been very scrappy thus far this year, and, in this battle, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt as well. Prediction: 8 Balls Hounds (4-7, 6th) vs Stampede (6-4, 1st) Probable Starters Jake Sprinkle (HWC) Aidan Palmer (STD) Finally, Sprinkle makes his fast pitch debut against none other than one of the league's best pitchers, Aidan Palmer. Aidan has only looked human once this year, and Sprinkle, despite his fantastic history, has a tall order to outduel him and keep the Pede’s offense at bay. I expect Sprinkle to be sharp, but not that sharp. Prediction: Stampede win  Hounds (4-7, 6th) vs Moonshots (5-5, 4th) Probable Starters Mitch Buis (HWC) Ian Garavalia (MID) Ian has been a hell of a #2 this year, but beating Buis isn’t easy for anybody. Fresh off a stellar but unfortunate 2-0 loss with the NWLA Dirt team, I think Buis is looking to take out some aggression (if he has any?). I know the Hounds' offense is bottom of the league, but I've got a hunch on this one (or indigestion, either way). Prediction: Hounds win Moonshots (5-5, 4th) vs Shorts (6-5, T-2nd) Probable Starters Connor Smith/Nolan Karwoski (MID) Dustin Laugel (SS) Connor Smith has had some good innings in him this year, and the Shorts' offense, while good, is by no means terrifying thus far. However, Dudas has all the momentum in the world after earning a second straight NWLAT MVP; if there was ever a time for him to carry a team, it's now. If Connor can’t find some consistency, we get to see if Nolan's fastball is as fast as his swing, and I am intrigued to see this. The Shorts send me (Laugel) to the mound in what might be an adventure. Aside from Swing and PP, I don’t think anybody was aware my shoulder had a weird pop the second-to-last pitch in my start at NWLA. Strange pains are nothing new to me, but not like this. I was sore for 8 damn days. For the record, however, the last time my bionic arm had a weird pop, I went from throwing 70s to 80s (also oddly enough at NWLA), so flip a coin on this one. I'll either be trash, trashed, throw gas, gassed, or have gas; either way, I'll bet on my team for this one. Prediction: Shorts win  8 Balls (6-5, T-2nd) vs Shorts (6-5, T-2nd) Probable Starters Alex Gurtcheff (I8B) Myc Witty (SS) Gurtch has looked much sharper as of late on the mound, and if it were anybody else in the league, I might give him the benefit of the doubt....but it is Magic Myc Witty he’s pitching against.....so, Witty wins. BUT hold the phone, “they” said the same thing about Jaso at the NWLA, but Reid had other plans - are we in for another soul-crushing home run? Perhaps not likely with the lefty-on-lefty matchup, but this is wiffle, and it's anybody's game. Gurtch’s best hope to win may be to force a jackoff, which isn’t out of the question, and the Shorts have looked miserable at them so far this year. Prediction: Shorts Win Yaks (5-6, 5th) vs Stampede (6-4, 1st) Probable Starters Dustin Dowden (YAK) Brayden Scott (STD) Brayden vs Dowden is a matchup that very well may end up 1-0 for either team; a popcorn-worthy pitching matchup. The Yaks' offense hasn't held a candle to the Stampede's so far this year, but they did do enough to nab two wins last time out. Swingler gets to take his first league at-bats against Brayden in over 2 years...in a league that has way more talent but also way less corn. There was a time earlier this year that me and Swing absolutely shelled (not a turtle reference) Brayden in practice, so this COULD be interesting. Dowden has been nothing but incredible this year, so I’m calling a jackoff. One would think this favors the Stampede, but they didn’t hit any against the Shorts somehow in that game.... Prediction: Stampede win in a jack-off Moonshots Vs Stampede (Bottom 1st 1-0) Probable Starters Holden Palmer (STD) Will Smithey (MID) A thunderstorm suspended this matchup last time out, the Moonshots were able to capitalize in some horrific wind from a Holden Slow pitch to give them a 1-0 lead before the game was called. Holden looked as good as ever at NWLA, and that slow pitch bomb may be all the moonshots get. Smithey returns fresh off a save at the NWLA championship, and I'd fully expect him to maintain this 1-run lead in the same fashion. Prediction: Moonshots win Dustin LaugelBy Jorf Porsson, Wiffle Ball Insider July Edition | SOURCES ENGAGED  🚨 WITTY TO CRANE: “ME VS. YOU. DEADLIFT. NOW.” The boulder saga may have ended, but the ego lifting has just begun. After Brendan “Boulder Bro” Dudas completed his legendary excavation of an incalculably large backyard rock—with the help of a heavy-duty industrial crane, mind you--Myc Witty has reportedly issued a challenge to that very machine: a deadlift showdown for the ages. Witty, whose muscles have muscles, is reportedly feeling the heat as Boulder Bro’s strength fame spreads. According to SOURCES inside the Shorts’ dugout, Witty was overheard muttering, “You may have the boulder, but I am the mountain.” Early negotiations suggest the event may be titled “Witty vs. Crane: Iron Reckoning”, and will involve a bench press, deadlift, and a flex-off judged by an anonymous panel of shirtless dudes in jorts. 🧠 TYLER GREGORY NOW ANSWERING TO “G-TY” AFTER MIRACLE CATCH, POSSIBLE HEAD BONK We all remember the moment: 2 outs, bottom of the 5th, and Tyler Gregory robs the Shorts of a walk-off homer with a tumbling, toppling, fence-eating highlight reel catch that immediately went viral. But ever since that fence-induced chiropractic session, SOURCES say he’s been... different. He now reportedly introduces himself as “Gregory Tyler”, asks teammates to call him “G-Ty,” and during one post-game interview simply said, “I don’t remember the play, but I feel legendary.” The CCW front office is now “seriously considering” expanded concussion protocols, including mandatory post-jack-off spelling tests and a 5-minute time-out to remember one’s own name.  🪨 DUDAS TO REBRAND FRANCHISE AS “SOUTHSIDE BIG ROCKS, PRESENTED BY BOULDER BRO™”
The commercialism of pro sports has finally infiltrated the sacred walls of CCW. Brendan Dudas, manager of the Short Shorts, is reportedly attempting to sell out the franchise harder than a stadium tour sponsored by an energy drink. Per trademark filings obtained by Jorf, Dudas is preparing to rename the Shorts to: “The Southside Big Rocks, Presented by Boulder Bro™” New uniforms are rumored to include denim sleeveless vests, trucker caps, and a team boulder mascot named “Gravel.” Sources say Dudas is also pitching themed walk-up music and trying to land a Red Bull sponsorship that involves base coaches riding dirt bikes. One anonymous player said, “At this point, I’m not sure if we’re playing wiffle ball or starring in a Discovery Channel pilot.” 👶 YAKKERS SCOUTING SENSATION: SMITHEY’S NEWBORN Yes, you read that correctly. After ongoing injuries have created a need for creative roster management, the Yakkers are looking to a rookie... literally. Team brass is reportedly signing Will Smithey’s newborn child to an active player deal, hoping that some of dad’s elite two-way talent made it through the gene pool. While the newborn can’t yet walk, throw, or speak, insiders believe he has a “raw competitiveness” and “solid launch angle” when being burped. Plans are reportedly in place for him to lead off and start Game 1 of the Yakkers’ next series. Said one scout: “Honestly, that baby already shows more plate discipline than half the league.” 🐢 “STINKY RICK” HEADED TO CCW? LAUGEL’S TURTLE-HELMETED PROTEGÉ IN TALKS The YiSH invasion continues. After Laugel, Scott, and Swingler made the leap from Southern Illinois to CCW stardom, a fourth import may be joining the league: the myth, the man, the moss-covered legend--“Stinky” Rick “The Turtle Man” Hargraves. Rick is known for three things:
One CCW hitter said, “I swung at it, missed, and then it hit me on the head. I’m still not sure how.” Hargraves has reportedly been spotted dragging a wheelbarrow full of boiled eggs and bat knobs into the dugout of an undisclosed team. -- Stay Tuned...As we approach the back half of the season, you can bet there’s more drama, more jack-offs, and definitely more boulder-related press releases to come. Until then, I’ve been Jorf Porsson. You’ve been informed. And my SOURCES never sleep. Want more Jorf? Subscribe to “Wiffle Truthers Weekly,” follow @JorfInsideInfo, and never trust a man who can’t jack in a jack-off.  Stampede (5-2) vs Shorts (3-4) Probable Starters Aidan Palmer (STD) Holden Palmer (STD) Myc Witty (SS) Connor Young (SS) Two aces from an absolutely suffocating Stampede pitching staff go up against a Shorts offense that has been absent all but 1 week this year. Having Myc Witty is great and everything, but give the man some breathing room for once! Connor Young makes his season debut on the mound, and the Shorts can only hope he gives some quality innings and the offense catches fire. The Shorts and I (Laugel) had our hearts broken last week, watching what would have been a walk-off home run land into the golden palms of Tyler Gregory - only to follow with a Jack-off loss. Dudas was too busy playing with rocks last week to attend, and now the Shorts are at a season low. They need Boulder Bro to become Dinger Dudas before the Shorts find themselves in a hole bigger than the one in his yard. I predict two hard-fought games, possibly a jack-off, and the other game decided by just a few runs Prediction: Stampede take both games 8 Balls (4-3) Vs Moonshots (4-3) Probable Starters Reid Werner (I8B) Alec Berninger/Alex Gurtcheff (I8B) Will Smithey (MID) Ian Garavalia (MID) Last week, Reid looked human for the first time this year on the mound, but by no means would I expect that opportunity again for the Moonshots. The 8-Balls are still soul searching for that solid #2 starter to complement Reid, while the Moonshots no doubt have got their guy with Ian Garavalia. Offensively, I think the 8-Balls have the potential to finish the season strong, but I don't see that streak starting here against the Moonshots' #1 and #2 pitchers. The Moonshots offense is tops in the league, and I expect them to further improve on that this week. Prediction: Moonshots take both games  Yaks (2-5) Vs Hounds (3-4) Probable Starters Dustin Dowden (YAK) Rudy Lyon (YAK) Mitch Buis (HWC) Austin Alles (HWC) The Yaks gave the 8-Balls everything they bargained for last week, earning a split and losing a hell of a game 2 by only 1 run. Will this week be the official turning point of the season for the Yaks? Rudy threw decent last week and will only continue to get better as the season goes on. Stealing a game from Buis or Alles is tough, but Dowden is more than capable of doing so against either of them. Offensively, neither of these teams is firing on all cylinders, so don’t expect much scoring here, but expect 2 great games to watch. Prediction: Split 1-1 Dustin Laugel |
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